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I stopped for a latte on my way back to my office from yoga class. While waiting in a long line, I heard a man say, “D*mn girl! You look fine.” I turned around and it was this gross, disheveled guy dressed in an old army jacket and he was obviously speaking to me. I ignored him but he persisted by saying, “You got a man? I know you got a man because… (unintelligible sexual grunt).”
At that point I just got out of line and hurried back to the safety of my office. While I didn’t feel physically threatened, the experience was very demeaning. I wear yoga pants, because I do yoga, not because I am putting myself out there to be ogled like a piece of meat!
I was working late and I had to go to the parking deck after dark. I got on the elevator and at the last minute this man catches the door and slips into the elevator with me. Then when the doors were closed he stared at me and smiled and was all chatty like “Long day?” I just faced forward and ignored him but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he was carrying a small bag over his shoulder and I immediately thought “rape kit” and started totally freaking out. But I managed to keep it together and I was so relieved when the doors opened and I could get out. But then he FOLLOWED me and I was totally freaking out because he walked right behind me all the way to my car and I was expecting him to push me between cars and assault me or force me into my car and drive off. But when I got to my car he just kept walking but I still felt totally creeped out and could hardly sleep all night.
I was going to run some errands around 8pm, I stopped at the gas station and I noticed a creepy looking van. I felt like the male driver was looking at me in creepy way but I tried not to pay it too much attention to it. I got my gas and left quickly. I continued on to the store and I was in the store for at least 35 minutes. As I walked out to my car the same van from the gas station pulled up in front of my vehicle, so I got in my car very fast, locked the door, and started my car. He rolled down his window and was saying something so I cracked mine to hear it. He said “Did you get me anything?” I shook my head now and pulled off quickly. It may seem like something relatively small, but for me it was very traumatizing. I don’t know if he followed me from the gas station or anything. This isn’t my first experience with street harassment, just the scariest one. It’s not fair that as a woman I have to be scared to go out and run errands alone. This incident occurred in Sanford NC, in the parking lot in front of Rue 21. (Near Walmart)
Sitting at the table by the window of the Starbucks on Franklin St.: a car full of you men pulled up and while waiting at the light a guy in the back started waving at me- I mouthed STOP and looked unhappily at them and then back down at my books but when I looked back up the one was still waving and smiling and the other guy in the backseat was making an obscene gesture repeatedly at me. They kept doing this until the light changed.
Always shouting at me at sheetz parking lot in graham followed me into the store 3 times my age to get my number because I didn’t come out of the store fast enough for him.
Walking down the street in my neighborhood to the cafe, a man in a car at the stoplight stared at me, then called out as the light changed and he drove off. He looked back and yelled a second time. All I caught was “sexy.”
I’m riding the bus back from work. A white man with a large belly comes to sit in the front of the bus perpendicular to me while the bus is en route. He begins to stare and smile. He reaches his hand out at me, close enough to touch me, but not quite making contact.
He is briefly distracted by a woman in a dress coming on the bus, who sits in front of him. He is now directing his attention to her, staring, and smiling, and subsequently straining forward. Reaching trying to touch her, trying to see under her dress. Curling his finger under her dress. She sits locked in position, ignoring him, pretending to be unaffected by his advances. He turns back to me, I mimic her.
We are so close to the bus driver, and it’s a relatively full bus, but no one says a word.
Eventually the man saunters up to the front of the bus, past the yellow line to which the bus driver now decides to comment: “Sir you have to stay behind the yellow line. Sir, are you o.k?”
Who gives fuck- I think. If someone like this was no longer in our society today, I think we’d be doing a little better.
He eventually gets off the bus.
I see the woman in a dress, tearing up. I can’t say anything to her. I have no words for what has happened, for what happens every day to women everywhere that is just largely accepted. I was scared. I was fucking scared, and I didn’t know what to say in the moment.
I wanted to tell him to fuck off. I wanted to tell him I wasn’t/ she wasn’t his property. That he had no right to stare, smile, and attempt to grope.
But, I was scared.
I was upset getting off the bus, this is one of the few times I’ve felt unsafe on there, and I thought I had finally moved to a place where shit like this didn’t happen, but it does. It does, and it’s still accepted, it’s still considered o.k. and I’m still considered the crazy one.
I called my mom after getting off of the bus, who simply told me to ignore men in that situation, that I was getting too worked up, and that she dealt with that crap all the time. That things like this wouldn’t change, and couldn’t change, that this was “just the way it is”.
This shit, is normalized. How fucking scary is that. Where’s the hope here? What do you say in that instance? I thought of calling the cops to report the incident, but I knew of the statistics, and I didn’t want to hear more people tell me I was overreacting.
Two guys leering at me from a car as I walked.